My journey through the creation and publication of Whispers of Prayer: Breath Prayers for Anxiety has been one of love, of loss, of frustration, and has ended with realization of God’s perfect plan.
I probably need to write a completely separate article on how I discovered breath prayers and why I have come to love them so much. Otherwise, I’ll end up writing another book, instead of simply a blog post! I’ll just say this: breath prayers are something I’ve come to treasure.
In all that I do, my prayer is always that I can create products that will serve as tools to help. When people are struggling with anxiety, they don’t need a theological lesson reminding them to not be anxious. They need understanding and they need help.
When I wrote Biblical Journaling for Anxiety, I included a breath prayer at the beginning of each journaling session. The response was extremely positive. Since I saw how much readers loved them, it inspired me to go a step further and create a pocket-sized book of breath prayers.
I chose to write them differently than I did in the journal, making them more unique. I wrote them using rhyme and rhythm because I know the brain responds to these elements. While the words of the prayers grew from my own mind, they are rooted in scripture. My words can never replace the Word of God, so I placed each prayer alongside the scripture on which it was inspired.
The writing was my favorite part. Designing the pages was also a delight! I had the content of the book completed by early October. But then, my dad unexpectedly passed away.
After his death, I did not have the mental energy nor the emotional capacity to move forward with publishing. I needed time for nothing besides grieving and mindlessly walking through the ever-present responsibilities that the mom of a family carries. It would have been easy to just let it go , but I knew that wasn’t right. That would be allowing my emotions to dictate my choices, and I knew that wasn’t what God intended. It’s not what my dad would have wanted either.
I’m reminded of a time in high school when I was rushing out the door to Sunday night youth choir. In my hurry, I didn’t notice that a family member had parked in a different spot than usual in our large driveway. Without thinking, I backed up—right into my mom’s car! Horrified, I ran back inside, crying, unable to believe what I had just done!
Dad came outside, observed the mess I had created, then silently got behind the wheel of my car. Without a word, he repositioned it so that it was ready to drive out of the driveway. I stared at him, confused. Surely, he didn’t expect me to still go to church after I had just damaged both my car and Mom’s!
But he did. He handed me the keys and told me to get on my way.
So, Dad, I’ve picked up the keys, and I’ve started driving—heading toward my destination despite the wrecked state my life has been in.
So, after about 4 months, not only did I conjure up the energy to pull out the manuscript again, but now I had to do all of the not-so-fun parts of publishing…ISBN numbers, formatting, key words, book categories…blech. I trudged through the tedious tasks, reminding myself that the drudgery of the final steps is part of the process.
I finally submitted my book for publication and thought I’d try something new. I decided to schedule a release date in advance so I could promote it more intentionally (which, let’s be honest, has never been my strong suit). Since I’ve published three other books without a problem, I assumed this would go off without a hitch. I was wrong!
I had never experienced an Amazon approval process that was a spiritual exercise in patience. But, here I was. Apparently, there were “issues” with my manuscript. Who knew Amazon employed margin inspectors with microscopes?!? My manuscript was bounced back and forth five or six times (I wish it had been seven so I could make this a more holy story, but honestly, I lost count.) Each time I submitted it, I was sure I had it pixel-perfect, only to receive another “not quite” email the following morning. The irony was not lost on me as I wrestled with not knowing what I was doing wrong and, yet, knowing I needed to fix it as I tried to publish my book designed for those struggling with anxiety. God was, in the final stretch, using Amazon’s publishing portal to test my anxiety management.
Well played, Lord!
I finally fixed every itty-bitty thing they thought needed fixing and had, by this point, surrendered the timing to God.
My final manuscript, which was submitted on a Tuesday morning (and it supposedly takes a minimum of 72 hours for approval)--went live in the wee early hours of Ash Wednesday.
Ash Wednesday…a day that marks the beginning of Lent…a season when believers focus on the spiritual disciplines of fasting and PRAYER! This timing was not mine. God orchestrates things so perfectly! Of course Ash Wednesday was the perfect day to release a book of prayers! Thank you, Father.
I pray Whispers of Prayer: Breath Prayers for Anxiety will be a source of comfort and peace for those who need it. I pray it provides a calming connection to the Prince of Peace, who alone has the power to calm every anxious heart!
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